Generic message for online dating

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I’m here to [hedge and say you want to meet new people], and I’d love to [flirtatious invitation].” C’mon, guys, you’re more than the sum of your Netflix queue! To give you some idea of how it’s done — and how it should never ever be done — we’ve compiled the 13 all-time funniest dating profiles out there.

These side-splitting online profiles can be witty, crazy, or just plain stupid, but at least they’re memorable. A lot of guys paint a picture of their ideal date — dinner, movie, makeout session, etc.

Wenn du dich für Landwirte-Dating interessierst, wirst du auf einer allgemeinen Datingseite nicht glücklich werden.

Was du brauchst, ist eine Datingseite, auf der du ausschließlich Landwirte findest, und wo du dir sicher sein kannst, dass jedes Mitglied auch wirklich Landwirt ist.

According to Ok Cupid’s data crunchers, “Men’s photos are most effective when they look away from the camera and don’t smile.” And then there’s his one-sentence About section: “I’m banking on your standards being a lot lower than mine.” Playful, self-deprecating, and original.

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We may not know much about him as a person, but we know he’s hilarious, and that’s enough to make a striking first impression.

OK, so this isn’t exactly a legit dating profile, but it is really funny so it goes on the list. Nothing with Gene Hackman or Kevin Spacey” as a nod to his cinematic arch enemies.

Some bored person on the web created a Zoosk profile for Superman. In the Story section, the comic book superhero explains, “Long story but let’s just say you better be ready for a love affair that’s out of this world.” Under movies, Superman writes, “Action. His perfect match has alliteration in her name, and his ideal date is anything not involving Kryptonite.

No word on whether Lois Lane has a profile of her own yet. Take it away, Sydney: “The only reason I want a boyfriend is so that when I’m singing Fergalicious and it’s at the part where she says, ‘I be up in the gym just workin on my fitness he’s my witness’ I can point to him and he’ll do the little ‘woo OOH’ part because right now I have to do both parts by myself and it’s stressful.” Sydney makes them boys go loco.

This gem of a dating profile, highlighted by Cosmopolitan, has one of the most laugh-out-loud About sections ever. I hope this 24-year-old single has boys lining down the block for her.

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