Double your dating jar

After all, why bother when 99% of them are troglodytes who think that “Yo bitch” is a proper way to start an email or make the immediate leap to “I can’t wate to eat ur puzzy” are appropriate ways to approach a woman you don’t know.Hell, many of my female friends will delete emails – without reading them – based solely on the because of the sheer volume of mail they receive.

Captain Mc Gillicutty: Tell me the ritual words or you'll be sleeping with the fishes! Captain Mc Gillicutty: Tell me, or I'll send you to the bottom of the ocean! In fact, I probably shouldn't even be talking about it on the phone.

2 View All Next »There’s a lot to love about online dating.

Of course, there’s nothing quite so frustrating when you put all of that effort into your profile and start sending out all of those messages… In fact, that’s the reason why so many men quit online dating entirely; who wants to expend all of that emotional energy only to get kicked in the metaphorical nuts by that empty inbox every time you log in? Well, to mangle an old saying: once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times means you’re doing something wrong. It looks for all the world like a normal account, but the person who owns it hasn’t logged on in over three months… Sending messages, winks, pokes, flowers or other signs of interest is the digital equivalent to ringing the doorbell of an abandoned house. Zombie profiles litter their account – something that many dating sites make as difficult as possible in order to artificially inflate their numbers.

They may have set up the profile on a lark and forgot about it after moving on when some other social network caught their attention.

This also means that you need to have an attention-getting subject line to your messages. If she talks about sports, mention sports in the title.

The most common subject line that women receive is a variation on “Hello”: Hey, Hi, ‘sup, Yo, how YOU doin’, etc. If you two have a mutual interest in books, put that in the subject! I’ve always had good responses from “Pirates are inherently better than Ninjas” or “Zombies are superior to Vampires”.

If the latter comes up in his list of offenses, it's Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking.

When the Poodle Poking is used as a punishment, it's Cool and Unusual Punishment. A lot of jokes about Digital Piracy Is Evil are built this way.

And yet even when the number of people who are considered overweight form the majority of the population, obesity is in many ways one of the remaining acceptable prejudices.

Last week, the #fatshamingweek hastag was trending on Twitter as numerous assholes and shitbags took to the network and decided to mock fat people – mostly women, but men too – from behind the dubious anonymity of their Twitter accounts.

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