She’s done it all; dating sites, meeting guys at cons, the comic store, chatting up friends from class and at work.
If a woman keeps hearing from men that she’s “intimidating”, what is she supposed to do – besides start approaching men who have more self-confidence and fewer issues?
I conducted an informal (and utterly unscientific) poll on the Dr.
Nerd Love Facebook Page, trying to get a handle on what guys mean. So let’s take a look at what men say is intimidating… Men can find beauty intimidating; the more attractive the woman, the more advantages society gives her.
There is no reason why you should try to force yourself to be someone you’re not in order to meet somebody else’s criteria.
Now, that having been said: you want to consider toning down your behavior somewhat.The more beautiful or desirable a woman, the more she can have her pick of men.Olivia Munn may be a geek , but how is average Joe Nerd supposed to compete with the celebrities she meets on a daily basis?A shy guy, even one who wishes women would be more assertive and take the initiative, can have a low threshold when it comes to directness and energy.Similarly, if a man is interested in a woman who’s more in line with the idea of more traditionally feminine or lady-like behavior, he isn’t going to make for a good boyfriend for an outgoing, dominant or non-traditional lady.2 View All Next »I want to introduce you to someone. She’s geeky to her Joss-Whedon-loving core, a Whovian, Vertigo-reading, 3rd edition D&D (none of that 4th ed crap thank you very much) gamer with the con stories to prove it. While it’s true that many men will use it as a polite dodge to avoid saying “I’m not attracted to you”, when it comes up over and over again, it’s a sign that maybe there’s more to it. And don’t get me wrong, this isn’t someone looking for geeky attention or a propped up fantasy. But “intimidating” is almost uselessly vague, especially if they keeps coming up; it covers a multitude of meanings to the point that it means everything and nothing at once. She has a job she loves that pays good money, money that she likes to spend on her geeky hobbies and toys. – she hears the same thing over and over again: “You’re too intimidating…” Does this sound familiar to you? In fact, going by the number of emails I get from my readers, it’s most common issue that geek (or geek-curious) women encounter when they’re interested in dating. She’s well educated, with a rapier wit and a willingness to use it. And yet, Friday still remains the most lonely night of the week when she sees all of the happy, laughing couples making plans, having romantic dinners and enjoying the sex while she’s at home with Fringe on the DVR and a bottle of Malbec breathing in the kitchen. Well, whenever she’s interested in a guy – a guy who’s worth her time, because what’s the point of having standards if she’s not going to stick to ‘em?He may be overwhelmed by the force of her personality and worry that he will be forced to be the inferior partner in the relationship.Or he may just be the sort of person who prefers a quieter, demure, more “feminine” personality. While there are plenty who can appreciate an outgoing partner – one who would compliment them, be the yang to their yin – more are likely to feel steamrolled by someone so dominant.