If you have a girlfriend now and feel that way, think of how much stronger that feeling will be with your wife someday. That's what I mean by "sex killed my best relationships." People can relate on many different levels -- emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually.But when my girlfriend and I started relating mostly physically, it short-circuited the other parts of our relationship.
And the guy -- who doesn't treasure his wife because of the sex before marriage -- still wants sex but not as a total bonding experience with his wife. And consequently they'll have better and more frequent sex because they respect each other more and love each other more deeply.
Sex is a mysterious thing that causes a deep bond between people, even if we call it "casual." The problem is this: the more I bond with other girls, the less I'll be able to bond with my future wife.
I've seen this happen with countless relationships, not just others of my own, but those of many other people.
And I think there's a reason for this, which I'll explain next.
Here's what I mean: most of the girls I've been with are now married to other men.
When I put myself in the shoes of those men, I wish that I hadn't done what I've done. Would I want some guy like me taking advantage of her? They're someone else's future wife, someone else's daughter, sister, etc.
In fact, I might even like to punch myself in the nose for it. For example, I had a college sweetheart, the girl of my dreams. We totally "clicked." We waited for awhile, then, through my initiation, we started having sex. I stopped wanting to get to know her on any other level.
And so it goes without saying that when I get married, I'm not going to like the idea that someone else has had his way with my wife. Do you like the idea of someone else being with your wife? And so, instead of growing closer together, we actually started drifting apart.
The two things were this: 1) I lost respect for the girl (even though I didn't want to); and 2) she began to mistrust me (even though she didn't want to).
I don't know why this happened, I just know that it did.